The Money Wellness Studio

  • Finding the Middle Ground

    One of the many reasons a marriage falls apart is because of money. There is someone in a marriage (or whatever relationship you’re in) not being transparent about money and it breaks down the partnership from within.

    What does transparency look like?

    Firstly, if you have any debt, its best to come out and share it with your partner. They might be liable for it, but more importantly, they will be able to understand why you contribute what you do, to the household.

    Next, talk about your salary openly with each other. Your partner is rooting for you to do well at your job and may even have some insight on how you can negotiate a better salary. Also, it’s important to know what each of you make in order to plan for your goals together.

    Talk about the assets that you have accumulated. What is your net worth? What are your plans for your money? ‘I just want to become incredibly wealthy. No other plans’. Great! let your partner in on it! Or it could be ‘I want to own an investment property and my own home’. Ahh, and maybe you want to do this with your partner? Tell them!

    Talk about each other’s spending habits. It’s going to be difficult if one of you enjoys a jolly old time splurging your money while your partner is at the other end of the spectrum. You both need to come to a compromise on what needs to be done. Its not possible to sustain a lifestyle that is swinging through the extremes and just hope that it will all balance out.

    Share your short term and long term plans with each other. Oh you want to fly to Bali for a week but the Nilgiri hills are calling your wife and she wants to go! You want one house, but your husband wants to own a slew of houses and turn them into rental properties. You plan on working till retirement, but your partner wants a break from work and follow their passion for a while.

    Unless you have an honest conversation around money, you’re not going to understand where the other person is coming from.

    You may have grand plans and want to invest your combined income into the stock market, your partner maybe someone who has a lot of doubt and is extremely reticent to do the same with their money. What do you do? You can’t just get angry with them for not understanding the stock market, because that is not the problem here.

    You want to be empathetic of where they are coming from and find a middle ground that both of you are happy with. And yes, there IS a middle ground. It doesn’t have to be MY WAY or the HIGH WAY.

    discuss finances over a cup of coffee with your partner 🙂

  • Ahhhh. No. I cannot.

    I have been depressed and anxious for most of my life. I also have ADHD. It’s a fairly new discovery that I have chanced upon. This diagnosis was an eye opener for me because I just thought I had no hope, and was filled with very many ugly feelings that I wanted to desperately get rid of, but couldn’t.

    I have tried therapy multiple times and obviously felt like a big faker, making a big deal out of nothing.

    Thinking to myself, ‘I’m just lazy.’

    ‘I’m a failure.’

    ‘I cannot do this anymore.’

    ‘there is so much to do, I don’t even know where to begin.’

    ‘I’m too late.’

    We say such things and much worse to ourselves. We’re the same people who would never say this kind of thing to our friends or anyone in our family.

    Here is a picture of my dog ‘Leo’ to lift your mood a little 🙂

    There is so much stigma around mental health. I have trivialised my own mental health so many times. How do we handle this?

    I think the very first step is identifying that something is not right. If we are repeatedly doing something that we don’t want to do, then we would have normalized it to a certain degree. Its very difficult to identify that particular trait because its what you think is normal. Let me give you a few examples of behaviour I had not given a second thought, but turned out to be one of the symptoms of my ADHD. (ADHD presents itself it many different ways in different people, NO WAY should the below be considered as a diagnosis for YOUR mental health). Since this is a personal finance website, I will focus on stories that impacted me money-wise.

    I try to be as financially diligent as possible but there are times wherein I have made purchases that make no sense to me. I have made a lot of impulse buys thinking that this is something new that I will start.

    I got interested in origami one day and bought paper worth 600 bucks the same day, and after that never did anything with origami ever again.

    I started therapy and needed to take notes, so I bought the most beautiful notebook for it. And never used it. And bought more notebooks. And never used them either. I continued to use whatever random piece of paper was available near me.

    I looked at a few instagram videos of people cooking and bought fancy utensils worth around 1000 and barely used them for a week.

    I bought a boatload of home decor items worth upwards of 10,000 that have just been abandoned.

    I also think of myself as some big bookworm, so I buy a lot of books which I never even bother opening.

    For all the gardening that I do, I have let at least a hundred plants die because I just couldn’t care for them properly.

    I buy fancy alcohol thinking I’m a fancy person, when that’s just not true.

    I exercised once and bought a fitbit because I thought I will make it a habit for life, even though I have ‘started’ exercising many times and never really persisted.

    Everywhere I look in my home I see several different hobbies that I started with great enthusiasm but failed to sustain interest for. I had been looking at them and myself as a huge imposter. This great enthusiasm to buy and start something is so humongous but once I get it I am so exhausted just thinking about the different possibilities that the hobby could have, I have no motivation to take it forward. There are so many different paths that present themselves to me, and I put so much pressure on myself to ensure everything is perfect from the beginning till the end, that I don’t even get started.

    After a very long time, I have tried to be kind and forgiving with myself instead of being harsh and demeaning, and this has made all the difference.

    Please be kind to yourselves and understand that you are human and you WILL make mistakes. Whether its with money or otherwise. If I could turn it around, you can too!

  • I need some help.

    When it comes to being disciplined it becomes really difficult to stick to a schedule, especially if you aren’t the disciplined kind. Like yours truly.

    How can we ensure that we actually achieve the things that we set out to do? Specifically when it comes to managing our money.

    Hmmm. Just Do it!

    Yeah. Okay. Thanks.

    ‘I know I need to do it, but I’m not able to…for some reason’.

    Yep, I have faced this problem. And it can only be begin to be solved once you have voiced it out as an actual concern. Without that, its just a thought bubble that exists for a millisecond, and then BAM! you’re distracted because instagram read your mind and threw an ad about dried flowers at your gorgeous face.

    So say it out loud.

    ‘I need to start paying more attention to how I spend my money.’

    ‘I need to invest my money.’

    ‘I don’t need to buy this today.’

    ‘I want to start saving money for my trip.’

    ‘I will not go with the flow when it comes to planning my money.’

    ‘I want a plan to stick to.’

    ‘I want to be able to retire by 55.’

    However ridiculous you think it is, just say it out loud. Preferably to a friend. Then talk to them and tell them that you would like their help.

    Get an accountability partner your un-fit self could count on during a difficult hike!

    Say,

    ‘Hey I want you to help me stay on track with so and so.’ or

    ‘I want you to help me be more accountable toward this.’

    To be honest, I think this comes a little more (just a tad) easily to women than men. Men have been told that they need to solve their own problems, so poor things seldom look outside for help.

    To all the men out there! Chill. FFS no one is going to judge you for asking for help. And if they do, screw them, you don’t need such people in your life.

    Find an accountability partner, make it quid pro quo if it bothers you SO much that someone is actually willing to help you. Offer them something in return, what habit do they want to track? How can you use your skills and help them out in this?

    Create an actual goal with them. Let these goals be achievable ones. Break them down even further. Tell them to hold you accountable for your actions. Here are some examples –

    ‘I want to automatically save 30% of my income in the beginning of the month, every month.’
    ‘I will call you as soon as I get my salary, stay on the phone with me as I move 30% of my salary to a different bank account.’

    ‘I want to invest Rs.X every week into ABC index funds’.
    ‘Remind me every Wednesday at 12PM to invest in ABC index funds.’

    ‘I want to be spend 70% of my income and save the remaining amount.’
    ‘Help me take a look at my expenditure and help me figure out where I can cut down my spending’.

    ‘I want to create an emergency fund that will contain 6 months of my expenses. Please help me achieve this.’
    ‘Help me calculate how much I will need to save every month for the next year in order to beef up my emergency fund.’

    Check in with your accountability partner at a regular cadence and update them on how you are doing with the task. Be like, ‘Okay let’s talk every Tuesday and Thursday for the next four weeks for five minutes.’

    Please make sure this accountability partner is the non-judgy kind. You’re going to make a lot of mistakes, you’re going to get complacent, you need someone patient, kind and understanding.

    This needs to be an honest relationship, otherwise you are wasting everyone’s time. Be upfront on whether you have managed to complete the task you had planned. If not, say that out loud and provide a deadline on when you will be able to complete it.

    My goal is to create a safe space and a compassionate community around all things related to money. Reach out to me if you want to talk and share your story 🙂

  • Sayonara mom and dad, I’m moving out!

    I have moved out of my mother’s place and into my space. I’ve moved again from there to another house. I know the issues and the costs associated with moving and living on your own. So I thought I’ll dive into how we can plan financially for moving out…And moreover, moving out of our parent’s home.

    Why would I do that? Okay, you wont, home food kicks ass and you don’t need to pay any bills. So it’s chill. But there are some people who want to spread their wings and weather the storm of living by themselves. This is for them.

    Hello crazy folks. Are you sure you want to move out of your parent’s house?

    1. You do realise, you have to cook on you own → which means you have to plan your meals → which means you’ll have to grocery shop → which means you’ll have to know what veggies and all to buy → which most likely means you’ll end up ordering in most days (Kkk…thats what I did, you might be a good child.) We have to plan for this as well.
    2. Also you have to keep your own place clean. Like this is something we need to do…repeatedly? I know, it blew my mind too. And then I let my home become a pigsty for a few days, then felt rotten and cleaned up the house. That took a good chunk of my time. I had to keep motivating myself to clean the house, clean the utensils, clean this and that. Its exhausting to watch, its exhausting to clean, and it will never be fully clean for more than 20 seconds. If you are like me and the thought of cleaning just tires you out, you might choose to get a maid, count that into your expense. If not, just remember that this is a regular thing that YOU are responsible for.
    3. Rent. Another monthly expense you need shell out. Its a no-brainer honestly, but you still need to understand what your range is going to be. And that will depend on the location. There are some rules that say Rent should be less than 30% of your income. I’m not sure where it comes from, but it certainly shouldn’t be more than 50% of your income.
    4. Deposit. Cities like Bangalore are quite ridiculous where the tenants demand 10 months rent as a security deposit. You maybe able to negotiate it down to 6 months or so. But that is still a huge expense that you need to be prepared for. So start saving for this now if you want to move out! I think there are services like NestAway which take 2 months rent as deposit, even then it’s an expense that needs to be planned for.
    5. Utilities. I had no idea that electricity bill could be upwards of 1000 bucks when I first moved out. I was kind of a noob I suppose, but plan for this as well. Then there’s the most important – INTERNET. Yep, with more people working from home, you need a good speed broadband service, and both of these will be a regular expense as well. Keep that in mind.
    6. Things for the house. Ah. Yes. You might need a fridge, a stove, couple of essential items, like bed, utensils etc. I suppose you can be thrifty here and nicely sneak some of the things the parents have been hoarding for centuries in the attic for ‘special occasions’. Or you may just decide to buy them. And again, I’m a bad role model when it comes to house things, I buy a lot of nonsense which at the time seems like THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD. After a point I’ve just realised, these are kitch-y items that are a one time thing, they look good in the show-room and when you bring it home, you look after it like a precious little thing for two days. Then it’s history. I have so many candle stands that I thought I absolutely needed, because it completes my home’s decor. Nope. Its so pretty that it didn’t go with the rest of the house which was a mess. I’m not saying don’t buy these decor items, I’m saying plan for yourself to lose your mind a little. Its going to be a whirlwind, enjoy it! 🙂
    7. Friends! One of the reasons I moved out was so I could chill with my friends whenever I wanted. I guess some people will not understand this. How lucky you are to not be bound by permissions and curfews. So you’ll be having a lot of friends over (or not). Plan for the house to be a mess after they’re all gone, thats right…its cleaning time! The part thats omitted when you chill outside or in someone else’s home.
    8. Emergency Fund! – I cannot express its importance. You need to keep an emergency fund of at least 3 months ready, ideally before you move out. This should include all your monthly expenses such as rent, groceries, bills etc. Read more about emergency fund here

    Living on your own is tough but it pays off immensely in terms of building confidence in your ability to thrive on your own and be independent. Go for it if you have the deposit and the first month’s rent ready. Plan your budget accordingly as well. In being smart about this, you are ensuring that you have a seamless transition.

    Welcome to my home 🙂

  • Little savings, big returns – HOW?

    I’ll give you the answer right away. It’s TIME.

    If you’re able to save a small amount you might feel like there is no point in doing so. Especially when the rate of return is so low.

    What does this have to do with savings?…nothing. Its here to calm you down 😀

    Ok firstly it doesn’t matter how much you earn, what matters is how much you pay YOURSELF. Meaning how much are you saving and investing.

    Shall we quickly sneak in some math here?

    Say you save 5,000 a month. Great amount! And you invest 3,000 out of it.

    That’s 36,000 invested in a year.

    Now you get a raise or a promotion the next year, so you bump your investing by 10%. Thats 3,300 a month, and 39,600 a year.

    So end of two years you have 75,600. But remember, you have invested this. So lets consider that your investment grows at a minimum by 7%.

    Thats 80,892.

    Imagine this for the next ten years.

    Whats that amount looking like? It would be equal to around 8,00,000! Yes I’ve done the math.

    What about next 15 years? That would be 18,00,000.

    20 years? 32,30,000!

    And this is assuming you increase your savings only by 10% every year.

    You may be increasing it at an exponential rate or your starting amount maybe insane.

    Go to the SIP calculator at Groww to check out how much you can make if you invest X amount at Y rate of interest for Z years – https://groww.in/calculators/sip-calculator Example:

    You can input what you plan to put every month and it throws out a number. If you want to see how much it will land up being when you increase the investment by 10%, reach out to me and we’ll do some math 🙂

  • Walking on thin ice

    I was recently talking to someone about mental health, and I realised what a huge role financial wellbeing plays in our mental health.

    We worry, fret and stress about money. We live pay-check to pay-check. We have loans and EMIs for which we NEED to go to work every day. We have children whose education and parenting is our responsibility. We have ageing parents who we want to take care of.

    First thing we need to do is kind of destigmatise talking about money.

    Talk to your partner about it first (if you haven’t already). Let them in on your worries. Talk to people you completely trust about this. Why? So that you create a safe-space around you and get more than just your perspective on the matter. There might be people in your circle who have similar stresses. Even if there is no new perspective, you know you are not alone. You will thrive.

    Sharing your salary, your plans for the future with someone is a GOOD thing. Not a bad thing. It kind of brings you back to reality. You verbalise your dreams and hopes. You can actually assess how you can make your dream a possibility. Another upside is, it reduces stress, you’re actually doing okay 🙂

    If you dont want to talk to anyone then hey! reach out to me – a stranger on the internet (svr@themoneywellnessstudio.com) I love hearing stories related to money, I will share with you what I did and maybe help you look at your situation from a different vantage point.

    Secondly, take a big step back. You are all right. You have weathered enough shit by now, you can do this!

    You need to become a little more self aware of what your expenses are. You might think you know, but you’ll only get a good picture once you put pen to paper. Use my categorization that I present in this article (Peeeeeking into spending habits).

    Let’s start cushioning you with all the right pillows.

    Pillow #1 – Build an Emergency Fund

    Pillow #2 – hedge baby! – Term Insurance

    Pillow #3 – Yes, its boring, but, its useful → Provident Funds!

    Phew, got super cozy there. But thats the point. You want to be comfortable with your money and confident about your money. You need to be able to look at the eye of a shitstorm say – ‘I can take that on!’

    Rest now child, you’ve read too much today 😀

  • START-ing problems

    So you’ve been earning for a while now, and saving like a goodie-two-shoes. But you’re also a badass, so you haven’t started investing yet.

    You keep thinking, ‘yeah let me save a little more, what I have right now is not worthy of an investment’.

    (Or something along those lines…we’re all guessing here)

    I invite you to think about what might be the problem here. You’re not suddenly going to be flush with cash. And by the time you are, your risk-aversion would have increased manifold. So JUST START! Better now than later!

    Another problem could be, you’ve been in the market for too short a period and you’re expecting a miracle!

    Ok imagine you’re growing a sapling of a tree. You’re not going to look at it everyday and worry about why it hasn’t already SHOT up!

    ‘Why is it not a tree yet, I’ve watered it for ten days!’ You see the problem? You need to give it time for it to grow.

    The amount of money you put in is not the biggest player when it comes to LONG term investing. It’s TIME. I know I know, I sound like a broken record, but I have to keep repeating this. And this isn’t meant to scare off anyone who thinks they’re older. You have time too. You just need to start.

    Start with something you will NOT MISS. And remember, you are playing the long game here, so you need to automate the living crap out of it, and forget about it. Go chill.

    Where should I invest? Just tell me that much.

    As I have said in the very beginning, I am not a financial expert, this will depend on your goals and how long you are willing to weather the market.

    Forget about your age, there are 20-somethings who are extremely conservative and 50-somethings who are willing to risk it all. You need to identify where you fall.

    Fill out the Goals template that I shared and figure out how to structure your life in order to make it as easy as possible for you.

    goalsDownload

    I will say this. Just START. Yes, it’s your hard earned money, but it’s sitting in your bank and losing its value!

    Reach out to me if you want to automate this, I have done it, and I can help you do it too. 🙂

  • Peeeeking into Spending habits

    All right, the time has come to talk about your spending. Hold on! Don’t leave just yet. I’m going to try and make this light and breezy.

    How do I budget? Before we ask this, we need to know..where the hell is my money going?

    Now you’ll have to do a little bit of heavy lifting.

    Take a quick look at your bank statement. A friend just told me, she had NO idea she was spending SO MUCH on Amazon and Uber Eats. But, since she got that insight, she was able to take action. She decided to cap her spending on Uber eats and eating out, and buy more groceries and cook at home. Now she was able to make that change because she had the guts to look at her spending.

    So the very first step is to take a good look at where you are spending. What was a dumbass-buy and what was smart? What was absolutely necessary and what was an impulse buy?

    How do we classify these? It all depends on YOU. You could be someone who needs to Swiggy or use Uber Eats because you are pressed for time, and it’s convenient. So you don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing. That’s fine, but you still need to know where it’s going. Awareness is key when it comes to planning your money.

    This doesn’t mean you chastise yourself for spending recklessly or get anxious about your credit card bill. Get some wine, grab your favourite snack, light some scented candles, and have a nice date with yourself. It may seem lame, but you need to incentivise this activity, otherwise it’s so terribly dry.

    Ok, let’s get into it. So what are the different categories we need to divide our expenses to? You can do this either monthly or weekly.

    Here is an example of what it could look like:

    Now you get a clear picture of where you have some wiggle room and where you need to cut your spending. What is frivolous and what is essential?

    You’ll see them as a percentage of what you make, and if you want to dive in deeper, you could percentages for all the different categories. That way you get a holistic picture of what goes where.

    All this is determined by you, I don’t know your life, so I’m not going to sit and preach how you shouldn’t be dunking your money in buying a variety of coffee beans every week. Maybe it helps you calm down, maybe you need it to unwind, maybe you genuinely like and enjoy coffee. Only you can make that call.

    If you find that you expenditure is high in the ‘Dumbass-buy’ region, its chill. We have ALL been there. I see an instagram ad on delicious cakes, next thing I know, I’m standing in the kitchen wolfing down the barely unwrapped pastry I just ordered. Shit happens.

    Maybe what you can do is…ask yourself before you buy something..is this a something that can wait for a little bit? Can I buy this in an hour? Or a day? Put it off for a bit (unless of course it is an emergency). Most likely, if this is an impulse buy – you will probably not feel like buying it after waiting for it. If you do, then perhaps it was something you needed?

    Getting to know your spending habits is an important part of getting to know yourself. Go for it, and let me know if you need some help figuring it all out 🙂

  • Common mis-steps when it comes to dealing with money

    1. I’ll invest later, when I have more money. No no no. Do it NOW. The most important part of investment is not money, it’s TIME. Better to put 500 bucks every month starting today than putting 5000 bucks two years later.
    2. I need to save like a maniac.. track and categorise all my expenses meticulously. Not really. All you actually need to do is figure out how much you want to save every month. If you have an unstable income, save a percentage. First think about saving and then think about expenses. Whatever remains after saving, spend it wisely. Just START. The whole point is to create a discipline around money rather than use motivation and other external factors. (I’ll talk more about spending later on! 🙂 )
    3. I cannot do this. I don’t know how to figure out how much to save/invest. Pick a number you will not MISS. Thats all. You make 10k a month? Pick a number…300? ok done, invest 300 bucks a month. Blah, thats too less. Yeah yeah, but its more than ZERO.
      OR reach out to me at svr@themoneywellnessstudio.com. Let’s talk!
    4. I save less than 10% of my income, that’s helped me long enough, I don’t really need to do anything else. Okay. 10% is great!… It’s a great start. If that’s all you can afford, thats okay, keep doing it, maybe push a part of it into investing and keep the remaining as savings. But if you can do more, push yourself to do it. Transition slowly and trick your brain into thinking you’re not really increasing the amount you are saving, by doing it super gradually. It will all add up, I promise.
    5. I SAVE over 50% of my income, that should be enough. Awesome, good for you. But are you INVESTING it though? Savings rate is super low and projected to go down as the inflation keeps rising. Same with deposits, which is around 6% or so (in India). Investing and participating in the market is one of the best ways to make your money work much much harder for you. I started investing at Rs.1000 a month!
    6. I used up my emergency fund for buying random shit. Put it on LOCKDOWN. Either push your emergency fund into an account for which you don’t have easy access (relatively) or put it in a Fixed Deposit, orrr…put it into a short term Debt Fund. (will get into this later)
    7. My life is a hot mess, I keep having emergencies. – you can create a buffer for it, so it doesn’t adversely affect your life. These emergencies can be worked around. Create Sink Funds. This is a smaller more easily accessible emergency fund, that you can dip into. You need to replenish these funds as and when they are used. Same with the Emergency fund.
    8. I’m scared of investing, I feel like there is too much to know. Talk to people around you. Be more open about money in your life. Talk about your salary, your wealth, your plans, this will help you think them through. The more candour we have around these topics, the less taboo it becomes. No one knows everything about investing (including me).

    Okay, I don’t have ALL the mis-steps. I’ve jotted down whatever I could think of, I will keep updating this list as and when I think of something.

  • Dipping the toe…

    Whats an SIP?

    Think of it as an EMI, but instead of paying a bill or loan, you’re paying yourself.

    Thats all. End of Story.

    S.I.P, stands for Systematic Investment Plan. Nooo, you said you’d make it simple!!!

    Haha okay, like I said before, an SIP is basically a plan, where you transfer a sum of money to invest for fixed intervals (usually every month…yes…every…month) till whenever you want it to go on.

    So next time you hear S.I.P in a conversation, you’ll not be like S-what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about-I-P.

    So whats the investment here? Its usually a mutual fund, but you can do the same with stocks as well, depending on your demat account.

    Well, well, well, I just threw sooo much at you just now. I’m glad you haven’t left yet.

    I’m not going to get into stocks right this minute. Let’s take a quickkkk break. Go get some coffee and come listen to a story about mutual funds –

    Okay so you have a group of 5 friends.

    One of them is a financial whiz. She studies the market, she knows about random mergers and lucrative deals. She wears a suit and has some heavy finance background.

    You all don’t know jack about money, so you ask her if she can invest your money for you.

    So you say, ‘hey! Each of us will pay you a certain amount, can you please invest it for us?And we’ll share the profits (or loss)’

    She says ‘ Ok, but pay me a fee for figuring out what goes where, coz it takes a fair amount of research to do this.’ You all say ‘ Kkk cool. Just invest our money plss.’

    Now she takes that fee, irrespective of whether you make a profit or not. She’s putting in the effort to figure out where the money goes, how the money PERFORMS, is out of her control after she’s put the money in. That’s all, thats a mutual fund.

    Mutual fund – They collect money from a bunch of people and a portfolio manager manages your money by investing it in various vehicles like stocks, bonds, securities, blah blah.

    Now say, you all see that your money is doing quite well, you decide, we should make this a monthly thing. Now you have just invested in SIP through mutual funds.

    TADAAAA!